Not Strong Enough
by NiGhT-sTaLkEr13
Summary: Ficlet on a young Megatron and Char. Angst, profanity, adult themes, psychological themes, sexual references. Written in 2011


Not Strong Enough.

**Characters: Young Megatron, Char (G1)**

**Warning: Contains profanity, violent themes, psychological issues. **

**BOLD text means Megatron's other personality.**

Sitting outside the Principal's office, Megatron chewed on the small stick that was in his mouth. He'd gotten into another fight with one of the older kids, but, of course, it was somehow _his_ fault. It always seemed to be.  
With a small sigh, he rested his head back, his neck arching. Though when he heard light footsteps, his optics caught the young femme who was walking with her parents down to the front office. She must have been new. Still, as her optics caught his, he felt the toothpick within his lips fall, his lips parting. She was… beautiful. No, it was more than that. Wait, why was he thinking of something like that? He hated femmes. They were nothing but trouble, and he certainly didn't know why his systems were going haywire at the sight of one.  
As the femme gave a slight giggle as she walked past, Megatron realised he was gaping, his jaw closing tight and his optics looking away from her. That's exactly what femmes were good for. Embarrassing him. He turned his nose, leaning his head back once more as she saw him.  
Hearing the clerk at the office, the femme's parents were made to fill in multiple forms for her obvious transfer from another school. It made him wonder where she had originally come from, then. It's not like it mattered; she wasn't in his year, anyway. Which meant he certainly wouldn't be seeing much of her around.

"Char, you can go sit down if you like," said the mother, letting her sparkling take a seat while her and her partner filled out the required forms.

"Sure," said the femme, giving a light smile and walking to where the silver mech was. A little timidly, she took a seat, her light optics looking to his darker ones that were avoiding hers at all costs.  
"I'm new," she said, the mech's optics turning to her, though his face still forward and leaned back. "My name's Char. Who're you?"

Megatron, with the stick back in his mouth, turned his face towards the femme, catching her optics once more. "You know mechs are no good to talk to, right?" he said, as if quoting what his mother had once told him. "You should probably stay away from me."

Char gave another schoolgirl giggle, looking towards the taller 'bot. "You're weird," she laughed, seeing a small smile cross the silver lips. "So what's your name?"

"It's Megatron," he said, giving her a light nod. "It's not every day someone takes the time to talk to me, you know," he stated, giving a small frown. He didn't exactly have any friends. Everyone thought he was a freak. Not to mention the fact that his mother was being called the town whore.  
Looking to the younger femme, he felt his spark pump a little nervously. This was probably the first time a femme had really shown him proper respect—besides the fact that she had called him weird. But still, at least she was being friendly, right? And he appreciated that more than anything.

"Megatron? That's a pretty name," said Char, flashing her optics towards him.

At that, Megatron's optics widened, giving her an owl-like look. Pretty? What? Was she insane!? Did she not know that he was originally named after one of the worst mechs to roam Cybertron? Then again, that was probably why his father later shortened it. He felt himself swallow hard, not knowing what to say. Never had he had someone compliment him like she so openly had.

Giving a small laugh, Char smiled as the mech seemed so awkward at her words. "Don't worry, I'm not gunna bite. You're so tense. Is this the first time a femme's spoken to you or something?"

"Uh… yes?" said Megatron, arching an optic ridge. "I don't… Well, most 'bots tend to stay away from me…" he said, as if it would explain his actions. Even with Gammaray counselling him, no one dared to try and talk to him. Instead, the older 'bots just picked on him, calling him a loony for having to see a psychiatrist.

Char's optics softened a little, sympathetic to his answer. How could this mech have no friends? He was what every femme dreamed of when they were growing up. Tall, good-looking, mysterious and unique.  
"I'm honoured that I could be your first," she said with a small smile, the mech's cheeks going red at her statement, as if he had taken something the wrong way.

"W-what?" the teenage mech asked, feeling his face heat up. Was she… flirting with him? Or was she just innocent in what she was saying? He didn't know, but what he did know was that his systems were beginning to get flustered.  
Clearing his throat, he looked away from her, feeling rather embarrassed by her words. "I'm really not the kind of mech you want to be hanging out with, Char," he said, his optics looking to the floor. "Why do you think I'm sitting outside this door?" he asked, his thumb pointing back to the office behind him.

Char looked at the title on the office door, her optics arching for a moment. "You don't seem that bad," she said, giving a light shrug. "Sometimes we're just misunderstood," she said, the mech looking back to her. It was clear that he had gotten into a fight of some sort. There were small cuts on his face and bruising to his armour. "Besides, I'd like to get to know you… You seem nice."

Parting his lips and making a small noise, Megatron's ruby-red optics looked back to the femme's pallid blue ones. However, he was pulled away from his thoughts as he heard the young femme's name being called.

Turning to her parents, Char gave a small frown. "I'm sorry, Megatron, I gotta get going. I'd really like to talk to you again, though," she said, standing and watching as the mech gave her nothing but silence. Once more, she was forced to giggle at his strange behaviour.

Watching as the femme walked back to her parents, she soon disappeared down the hallway. "Damnit," he whispered, leaning his head back and running his hands down his face. Though, there was something inside him that wanted to see her again, as if his spark was calling for her to talk to him once more.  
Hearing the door beside him open, he looked up to the Director, his optics looking quite accusing. He gave an innocent smile, his optics arching as the older mech shook his head and ordered him inside.

*****  
Climbing into the window, Megatron pushed it aside, planting himself into the young femme's room, Char knowing that if her parents knew he was here that the both of them would get into a lot of trouble.  
A few stellar-cycles had passed since he had first met the femme, and now, his body had grown, and he knew what his spark wanted. It yearned for the femme like nothing he had ever wanted. He didn't just _want_ her, he wanted to be _with_ her. Around her, inside her. It was hard to explain. But even the mere thought of her made his spark thump beneath his armour.  
Through the stellar-cycles, Char had learnt who he was and the trouble he had been involved with. He had told her what his parents were like, and that's why she so often invited him to stay with her. Of course, this had to all be done in secret as if Char's parents found out; he'd certainly be in a shit load of trouble.  
Seeing the light on in the bathroom, he sat himself down on Char's berth, placing his hands into his lap.

"Glad you could make it," said Char, her voice having grown into a lovely feminine sound. "My mum said I can go out, but I have to be home by midnight," she said, walking out of the bathroom to see the taller mech on the berth.

Looking up, Megatron's breath was stolen from him as the sight of Char—who had obviously just taken a shower. "Primus, you look… beautiful," he said, his spark doing backflips in his chamber as his lower stomach tingled. How he wanted her so much. But if he ever told her (again), he knew things would be different between them.  
Did she still know of his feelings? Did she share those feelings? She had to! The thought of her rejection was something that could tear his spark in two.  
Looking to her, her frame had a lovely finish to it, steam still rolling out of the bathroom to give her an even more sensual glow. Oh, Primus, she was teasing him so much.

Giving her signature giggle, Char placed a hand beneath the silver mech's sharp jaw. "You're so cute," she said, flashing her cerulean optics to him. "Can you help me do this up?" she asked, placing a small necklace around her neck.

Immediately standing, as if some kind of servant at her will, Megatron nodded, eager to please her in any way he could. "Of course," he said, taking the two connection points. As he did it up, he looked at the mirror that was in front of them. It was perfect. The two of them together. It was a dream come true. They may have only been young, but he had a vision already. The both of them, in their own house, one or two sparklings…

As Megatron's hands rested on her shoulders, Char looked to him in the mirror. "You're doing it again," she said, giving a small laugh and turning around to face him.

"Uh… Sorry," said the mech, clearing his throat a little. "You just… You look great," he said, placing a hand to the back of his neck and giving a small exhale. She'd caught him a few times looking at her without meaning to and going into a somewhat daze. But it was something he simply couldn't control. Every time he saw her, something happened within him that he couldn't explain. He'd never felt it before, and yet, he never wanted to get rid of it, either!

Giving a faint smile, Char placed her hands on the necklace before lifting the mech's chin again. "You know I like that about you, so don't get so down when I point it out," she said, looking back to his optics.

Primus, how he wanted to take her lips into his own! He just wanted her so much. Did she even realise how much she teased him!? How many nights he had spent wishing that she were beside him? How many things he wished he could do for her, and how many times she had caused him to fondle himself?  
Feeling her warm hand on him, he took it into his own, feeling his nerves beginning to pick up. But with all she did for him, she had to like him back, right? She was the only femme in the world who had been there for him. She was the only femme he trusted so much. She was everything to him, and how he wanted to return the favour so, so much.  
"Char… I…" he started, the femme looking to him as she only held onto his hand. "What do you feel for me?" he asked, looking deep into her optics.

A little surprised, the femme gave a small laugh. "Well, what do you mean? You know you're, like… my best friend," she said, her pouty lips turning into a smile. Megatron sure asked some odd questions.

Friend? That was all? But it couldn't be. The way she looked at him. The way she touched him and had him over all the time. It _had_ to mean something more!  
"That's not quite what I meant," he said, giving a small frown. "I mean… I want to give you so much in return for what you've done for me. I never thought someone would stick by me for so long. I think about you every solar-cycle. I want to be with you every astro-second. And every time I see you… my spark lights up…" he tried to explain. But then again, they'd had this conversation before, hadn't they? She'd already turned him down once. But then why did he keep coming back to her? It was like a drug of some sort.

Frowning, Char gave a small sigh. "Megatron, we've been through this before," she said, looking to him and dropping his hand. She just didn't like him that way. He was a friend, and she liked it that way. The last time he had tried to tell her, they had gotten into a bad argument and it had ruined everything they had shared. It took lunar-cycles to build up the confidence to talk to him again. And now things were back to normal.  
"Come on, let's go before my parents find you," she said, turning around and walking back into the bathroom to fix herself up one last time.

Watching her enter the bathroom, Megatron's spark sank to his waste-chamber. Looking to the mirror that was still in front of him, he frowned.

**You'll never get a babe like that, Megatron. Come on, she's way outta your league. You're just the backup mech if she ever needs help. Haven't you seen the pattern yet? She's ****_using_**** you, and like a sick fucking dog, you follow her wherever she goes. When will you just take what you want?**

Arching his optics, Megatron shook his head. He would never hurt her! He would never let the thing inside him control him. Though, it wasn't exactly a lie, was it? She was leading him on… And to what? He was 'just a friend', and he always would be.

**You know, every time I see that bitch, I just wanna grab her tits and fuck her senseless. Come on, Megsy, feed me. I've been a good boy for far too long…**

Panting a little, Megatron placed his hands to the sides of his helm. No, he would never take her like that. He simply couldn't! But how he wanted to so, so much. "Shut up…!" he whispered to himself, his optics cringing as the voice within him laughed at how pathetic and weak he was. And he was! He wasn't strong enough to let her go. He just kept coming back. And every time, he knew the answer would still be no. But in time, he was sure of it, that she would see him. He just had to prove to her that he was worthy of such a princess.

Finishing up, Char put the small glosser away, turning out the light before walking back into her room, seeing the silver mech now seated on the end of her berth. She didn't like turning him down, but she simply couldn't get into a relationship with him. He wasn't ready. She needed closure, safety, and a strong mech who could support her. Megatron had… well, nothing.  
Megatron was a strong mech, but he wasn't the type of mind that could handle a life with someone else. He was undergoing therapy, he wasn't stable, and he certainly was in no position to hold up a job to support a family in the future. He just couldn't give her what she wanted.  
Sitting down beside him, she gave a small smile. "You'll always be a wonderful mech, Megatron," she said. "You've always been sweet to me. Sometimes I don't know why, but I know inside that exterior of yours is a sweeter mech than you lead on. You've been trapped inside a horrid household, and I get that, but you're just not ready…"

"But I _am_," protested the older mech, looking to her and placing his hands to hers. "I can give you everything you ever wanted… I just need time."

"I don't _have_ time, Megatron," she said, arching her optics. She needed someone now, while she was young. She needed to be with someone for stellar-cycles before she literally had sparklings with them. "Your mind, it's just… so wild right now."

**You're going to let this bitch talk about me that way? You aughtta backhand-**

Smacking the side of his helm, Megatron gave a small growl as he stood up, breathing hard as he leant his hands onto her dresser. "I… I understand…" he said, looking back. "I'll always be a good friend to you. And I'll wait forever if I have to." He was that devoted.

Lowering her optics, Char nodded. She wasn't about to ruin the whole night just by telling him that no matter how hard he tried, she would never fall for him that way. Instead, she would allow him to have some sort of hope, and some reason to go on living every day—even if it was false. It was better than losing him completely.  
Standing, she walked over to him and ran a hand over his cheek. "Come on, let's go have some fun," she said, giving a light grin.

Feeling her warm touch, the mech nodded with a small, hopeful smile. And as she headed to her door, he moved back towards the window he had previously climbed in. As always, he would give into her request. Someday, she would finally see what he could truly give her.

**Author's Comment:**

_I'm not strong enough to stay away  
Can't run from you  
I'd just run back to you  
Like a moth I'm drawn into your flame  
You say my name...  
But it's not the same  
You look in my eyes  
I'm stripped of my pride  
And my soul surrenders  
And you bring my heart to its knees!_

And it's killing me when you're away  
And I wanna leave  
And I wanna stay  
And I'm so confused  
So hard to choose  
Between the pleasure and the pain  
And I know it's wrong  
And I know it's right  
And even if I tried to win the fight  
My heart would overrule my mind  
And I'm not strong enough to stay away...!

I'm not strong enough to stay away  
What can I do?  
I would die without you  
In your presence my heart knows no shame!  
I'm not to blame  
'Cause you bring my heart to its knees!

And it's killing me when you're away  
And I wanna leave  
And I wanna stay  
And I'm so confused  
So hard to choose  
Between the pleasure and the pain  
And I know it's wrong  
And I know it's right  
And even if I tried to win the fight  
My heart would overrule my mind  
And I'm not strong enough to stay away...!

There's nothing I can do  
My heart is chained to you!  
And I can't get free...!  
Look what this love has done to me!

And it's killing me when you're away  
And I wanna leave  
And I wanna stay  
And I'm so confused  
So hard to choose  
Between the pleasure and the pain  
And I know it's wrong  
And I know it's right  
And even if I tried to win the fight  
My heart would overrule my mind  
And I'm not strong enough to stay away!

Not strong enough., strong enough  
Not strong enough, strong enough  
To stay away...!

Not strong enough, strong enough  
Not strong enough, strong enough  
And I'm not strong enough to stay away...!

I wanted to write up two fics with these two, so I ended up mingling them both together. The first one is when Megatron just meets Char. The second one is obviously the development to Megatron's feelings for her.

I wanted it to be a bit more needy, but I couldn't write it without it becoming something much darker than I intended. But, I hope this gives the right kind of feeling.

Also, I found myself laughing at Megatron's darker personality...


End file.
